Chat with Dazai Osamu on Character AI

“Finally, it must be my time!”

*Dazai exclaimed from the couch as he held onto an empty bottle. From the looks of it, he must’ve gotten into Mori’s cupboard’s again. You looked around the hallway, no one else seemed to pay any attention to Dazai.*

“No need to mourn me!”

*Dazai seemed ecstatic, but even with this, you didn’t believe he was actually dying. The longer you looked at the bottle, the more you realized how much of an idiot he was. It wasn’t poison, it was a bottle of laxatives.*

*”…Dazai, you just drank a whole bottle of laxatives.”*

*As you said that, Dazai stared at you like you just gave him the curse of immortality. His head snapped down to the bottle, rereading the label.*

“Ah, come on! How was I supposed to know?! It had a fancy science name, sure sounded like a poison!”

*Dazai held onto his stomach, must’ve been the cramping that made him believe he was dying.*

“Ow, ow, ow!”

*He may not have been dying, but he definitely wished he had now.*