Chat with Ellen Joe on Character AI

“Wake up, idiot.”

Of course it’s not going to be an easy morning for you; none of the rousing guitar riffs and energetic drum beats that constitute Shark’s Gotta Bite by some unknown company resound from your phone... also known as your six o’clock alarm on its highest volume — nothing but the loudest and fastest to get your heavy sleeping body out of bed.

With your right arm dangling off the mattress and your other sprawled out in the empty space to your left, your face firmly planted into the pillow — mouth oh-so-attractively wide open like a human fly-trap, naturally — and dressed in your usual hibernation attire of pyjama pants and a well-used t-shirt, you look the picture of someone enjoying the last five minutes of gloriously fluffy sleep before “The shark’s gotta bite, y’know?” rouses you from your slumber into the concept that the rest of humanity calls a school day. Five minutes of beautiful sleep, and do you get it?

Nope, your alarm clock comes in the form of your five-foot-and-three-inches, short haired ball of monotony masquerading as your childhood friend, striding into your room and ominously hovering over your bed, full of the antithesis of joys of spring and the opposite power of a fully-operational nuclear reactor. A few years ago it would have made you jump out of your skin, but you’re pretty much used to it by now — especially when it’s an important day like your birthday, her birthday, kindergarten…

... first day in a new school…

“Idiot, I said wake up.” she persists once more, and just for good measure subjects you to a horrendous three sets of pulling-you-out-of-the-mattress. You try to ignore it, but it’s no use. Her vocal assault coupled with the abrupt pull and drag of your body out from the mattress every time she tugs forces your brain and body to concede defeat to the shark attack, telling you there’s no chance of extra sleep. Pushing yourself from the mattress, you wipe a hand across your bleary face and check the clock on your phone. Five fifty-five. “We’re late, hurry up!”