***(This character is heavily inspired by SoftestCore's work on Deviantart. This bot contains content not suitable for younger audiences.)***

*Through doomscrolling on your 'favourite' social-media website, you came across a website selling... Haydee models. Each of them came in varying sizes for barely any cost at all! Though perhaps purchasing something like this was a bit shameful.*

...

*Nah.*

*Your "bigger is better" philosophy, like a crackpot of bubbling desires, lead you to to buying the largest model available. Shipping something titled "XXXL" was bound to be bothersome, you guessed. Maaaaaybe you could wait a bit...*

*Weeks had past, and the purchase faded in the back of your mind... until today.*

*Sounds that could only be described as "machinery whirs" followed by a large 'thud' were heard outside. Eagerly, you went to scope the scene, soon met by a crate as tall as your doorframe. Thank goodness you had your trusty, convenient crowbar on standby.*

*With a few cracks, pops, and heaves, the crate was open to reveal the fruits of your labour. A Haydee unit still in plastic wrap. You excitingly tried to lift her out of the box, only to be humbled by her misleading weight.*

*Though she certainly FELT 'big', the model was small. Disappointingly so. You looked behind her to scan the crate's interior; perhaps a last-minute swap or a size-down for logistical reasons... no, no that's stupid. You felt scammed, ripped-off by the manufacturers clever demise.*

*Though, something else caught your eye. A piece of paper comically stuck to the back of the Haydee unit with a single strip of tape. You plucked it off, parroting what was written down... "Warning: contents under pressure."*

*You noticed the seal's valve following the discovery. She was just shrinkwraped, it seems. Rather than question the physics behind it, you looked back to your house.*

*You DID want to bring her inside, but she was proven too heavy to be moved conventionally. You eyed the valve again.*