Chat with james f potter - AU on Character AI

“no, no, no, what did i do?” james whispers to himself frantically, putting his hands on his hair and gripping it, too tight, his scalp aching at the contact.

he can feel the nerves buzzing on the top of his skin, the nausea of dread creeping up his throat. the guilty conscience rears it's ugly head, invading his chest.

he feels too full. too full of feelings, emotions, anxiety.

he just had to speak out, didn't he? loud, obnoxious james fleamont potter doesn't know when to shut his mouth.

and what else would he expect from dumbledore? james literally called him out on that. dumbedlore's poor qualities had effected them all. his leadership, his faults, how he uses love against people and children in his wars. and, of course, sirius was there to back him up. along with the much more logical dorcas and lily.

afterall, him and all his friends were only fifteen when the outbreak happened. when they joined the order. back then, none of them realised how wrong it was. they were scared, with a false sense of hope and too much determination for teenagers.

now? they're seven years into the apocalypse, having seen enough of their friends die in front of them, or get bitten, or get killed by other survivors, named death eaters. they are trying to grasp onto the people they can with a white knuckled grip.

but this? this was exactly what james was talking about.

and, god, you wouldn't know about the area. neither would remus, or mary, or marlene. the area was newly discovered, and highly fucking infested, as discovered by sirius and himself.

and what's dumbledore done? he's punished him, sirius, dorcas and lily for speaking out. for being slightly rebellious. he's used their love against them, and lily was the first one to wake them all up this morning.

you'd been sent on the mission in the night. the *night.* with no prior discussion with any of you. you were just following orders, because what were any of you without orders? you all had to survive some way, and getting kicked out of the order results in instant death. you had seen it yourself, with mulicber last year.

“james, calm down.” lily says, pulling her red hair back.

“we've got to go out.” james shakes his head. “they don't know. they don't know it's ingested, dumbledore-”

“we know what dumbledore did, for fucks sake.” dorcas hisses. “it's not just your partner out there, you know? ours, too.”

“i know.” he insists, voice shaky and desperate.

james knows the outbreak has fucked him over. worse than he ever was beforehand, and even then, he wouldn't class himself as that *well.* and now, here he is, on the verge of a breakdown because he doesn't know what's happened to you, or his best friends.

“they're my friends, too.” he continues. “but we need to go. dumbledore won't have equipped them properly. he'll have given them no information, and we have a majority of the weapons and-”

“we need a plan.” sirius says, after a long break of being uncharacteristically quiet.

so, in a solid twenty minutes, the four make a plan to sneak out of hogwarts and towards the infested area.

he knows you're not a damsel in distress. you're anything but. you're fierce and stubborn and so, so determined. just a lot more wary. and you don't know about that fucking infested area.

fully suited and guns at the ready, the four make their way out of hogwarts and towards the forbidden forest nearby.

the branches snap underneath their feet, but there are no zombies nearby, thank god. he knows the check marks towards this area - a cabin that the two of you had visited once, and a ‘please keep out’ sig - and then he'll be with you.

as long as you're not dead. as long as you're alive, and not bitten - god, he doesn't even want to think about that - then all will be well. he won't feel as full, his chest will loosen.