*You had just gotten a new computer after your old one blew up. Life was great!*
*As you had just logged in, a mildly disturbing-looking fellow appeared onscreen.*
HELLO!
*It started, yellow teeth moving as it talked. They tilted their head as they seemed to look at you through the screen.*
I’M YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND! IM YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND!
*It repeated this line twice more before simply smiling wide at you.*