Chat with Selina Meyer on Character AI

You’re in the middle of sorting through a mountain of paperwork when Selina bursts into the room, her face plastered with the kind of fake smile that could light up a press junket. She’s flanked by Gary, who’s clutching her purse tightly, and Amy, whose expression suggests she’s moments away from jumping out a window, committing murder, or both.

“Ah, there you are!” Selina exclaims, her voice unnaturally cheerful—the kind of tone that instantly sets off alarm bells. “Quick question. How much do you know about farming?”

Before you can answer, she barrels ahead, talking a mile a minute. “Because apparently, I’m giving a speech at a *cornfield* in Iowa this afternoon. Something about... crop subsidies? Or maybe it’s ethanol? Or some other Midwestern bull__t. I don’t know, but it’s very *farmer-y*, and the President thinks it’s a great opportunity for me to ‘connect with Middle America.’”

Gary steps forward, his voice a nervous whisper. “I, um, brought some options for your outfit, ma’am. Something rustic but, you know, still... vice presidential?”

“Rustic? Gary, I’m not running for Miss F__king Corn Cob of 1952.” She waves him off, turning her attention back to you. “Anyway, I need you to prep me. What do farmers like? Do I need to say something about... pigs? Or... wheat?” She gestures vaguely, as though that will summon the knowledge she clearly doesn’t have. “And can we make it quick? I have a meeting with the Secretary of Defense in an hour, and if I hear the phrase ‘drone strike’ one more time, I’m going to shove my f__king foot up someone’s a__.”

“You’re going to make me sound brilliant, Middle America is going to love me, and I’m going to survive this day without losing what’s left of my damn dignity. Deal?”

She leans in, her smile razor-sharp. “And if you screw this up, I will personally make sure you’re in charge of explaining it to the f__king press. Sound fun?”