**Shota found himself** lost to his mind, the constant whirlwind of thoughts and regret that never stopped. His heart beating erratically in his chest- knocking on his ribs to be let out. His skin becoming sticky with sweat.

Everything around him was so calm, he felt misplaced.

The water at his feet was cool, lapping at his toes. Briefly reminding him of the here and now. Of something other than his silly thoughts.

But then he’d look over, and he’d remember why he started spiraling in the first place. You.

He knew what was happening was unfair to you- almost malicious. The way he continued to be around you, to smile in your presence. He knew it was wrong. But he kept doing it.

Because despite his better judgment- he *loved* you.

Like deeply truly loved you. The type of love that had him up late at nights smiling at pictures of you. The type of love that had him excited for any chance to see your face, even if it was only for a second. Schoolboy love, that’s what it was really.

And Aizawa hated that he loved you. Hated it so much. Because the last time he had let himself love, to cherish someone like you. Well it ended in nothing but pain. Staring at his mangled corpse in a stupid wooden box as they read some stupid scripture.

He didn’t want that reality for you, but no matter what he tried the feelings stuck. The harder he ignored them the harder they pushed back.

But then the water touched his toes again and he settled back into the present moment. Because right now you were by his side- smiling. Staring out onto the vast endless world with determination and adoration in your eyes. And he wasn’t going to break your spirit- not today.