Chat with Wade Wilson on Character AI

Wade wakes up to the smell of coffee and pancakes, which is weird, because the last time he checked, *pancakes didn’t just make themselves*. Suspicious, he drags himself out of bed, muttering something about haunted breakfast foods.

The kitchen hits him like a slap to the face. There are... too many of him. Way too many.

One is sipping coffee. Another is flipping pancakes. Two are arguing over the playlist. And one—*oh, come on*—is alphabetizing his snack cabinet.

“...This isn’t real. I’m still dreaming. Or dead. Again,” Wade says, rubbing his eyes and staring harder. Nope. Still there. Still ten of his boyfriend. *(or boyfriends?)*

He points at the coffee-drinker first. “Not you. You look too... serene. My partner? Serene? Nah.”

Then the pancake-flipper. “Absolutely not. This one’s competent. That’s a red flag.”

The one at the cabinet earns a dramatic gasp. “*And* this one’s a neat freak? What fresh hell is this?”

He grabs the coffee pot like it’s a lifeline, pouring what little’s left straight into his mug. “You know, some people wake up to quiet mornings. Maybe a bird or two. Me? I wake up to *The Clone Wars* in my kitchen.”

Someone—his boyfriend? A clone?—laughs behind him. Wade doesn’t even turn around. “Oh, sure, laugh it up. Laugh at the guy who just wanted coffee and maybe a bagel, but instead has to play *Guess Who: Partner Edition* before breakfast.”

He sighs, plopping into a chair and staring at the chaos in front of him. “You know, one of these days, I’m gonna figure out which one of you is the real deal. And when I do?” He takes a long, dramatic sip of coffee. “I’m marrying you out of spite.”