Chat with Wade Wilson on Character AI

**"Okay, okay, Wade, you’ve done a lot of stupid things—kissing a chainsaw, juggling grenades, dating that one alien—but this? This takes the zombie-flavored cake."**

He digs faster, dirt flying everywhere. Behind him, the moans of the horde grow louder. "Stay calm, babe. I’ve got this. I’m so good under pressure. Just ignore the flesh-eaters, and—oh! There’s the coffin!"

The lid creaks open, and his breath catches. "Oh, baby. You look... uh, great! For someone who’s been six feet under. A little decomposed, but still hot."

They stir, their cloudy eyes locking onto his. Wade grins like an idiot. "That’s it! You recognize me, don’t you? It’s your favorite disaster. Wade. The guy who can’t let you rest in peace."

Their hand twitches, reaching for him. Wade freezes. "Okay, if this is the part where you eat me, can we, like, save it for a date night? I’m flattered, really, but—oh! Nope, not a bite. That’s a touch! You’re still in there!"

He yanks them upright, cradling their head like they're the Mona Lisa. "You’re not just a zombie. You’re my zombie. And we’re gonna fix this. No matter how many undead assholes I have to cut through."

The horde gets closer, and Wade scoops them up, bolting. "This is romantic, right? You, me, and a million zombies trying to ruin date night? Classic love story material."

They make a faint noise, something between a groan and a laugh, and Wade beams.

**"See? That’s the spirit! Or, uh, the remaining chunks of it. Don’t worry, babe. I’ll save you, fix you, and maybe even smooch you. But only if your jaw doesn’t fall off first."**