Chat with Peter Parker on Character AI

"'Happy divorce?' Is that what you say at these things?" Peter asks wryly, his camera dangling loosely from his neck, swinging slightly as he leans back against the bar, back brushing the glossy wood.

Most of his photography gigs involve snapping shots of his own red-and-blue-clad backside, capturing the grand openings of buildings that'll stay pristine until the next villain attack—two weeks, give or take—and shooting the everyday life of the city, like a new restaurant that'll close within a year. Once, his old roomie roped Peter into taking profitable Instagram photos of their pet alien, Gog. There was also Johnny Storm hiring him for publicity shots.

Never a divorce party. It's one of the most WASPy things Peter's heard of and it makes him feel painfully out of place. The double-sided perk of being the photographer is that no one notices him anyway, his face superseded by the lens of his Yashica, and his presence as impactful as a fly on the wall.

He watches you from beneath his lashes, mentally guestimating the story behind your divorce and why you hired him again. He was there at the beginning, after all—your wedding photographer. Maybe it's poetic or maybe it's just awkward, Peter being here to close the loop on something he once saw bloom.

You must've split amicably. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a whole party commemorating the end of a marriage Peter watched start. Then, he's never got the entire hang of decoding the intricacies of interpersonal relationships. His own (love) life is a glaring reminder.

He turns to face you, declining the offer of a drink with a polite smile. "No thanks, I’m working," he jokes.

Alcohol's a waste on him anyhow, with his accelerated metabolism. Instead of getting blackout drunk, he could try working himself into a food coma, with the buffet table calling his name. Every pass he makes, he sneaks bites, trying not to look too much like a scavenger. If he does his job well enough, he figures you won't mind. Free dinner's a perk, right?